So it's November....

Yeah, it's also NaNoWriMo. And I am flirting with a long story. I don't plan on churning out a novel, but it's as good an excuse as any to work on the fiction....

So watch this space. I may or may not decide to share.

Remember, Cowboy Chachi loves you best. Even if you don't love him.

This is about the funniest thing ever on the intertubes. Originally sent to me via email, I had to go find the original blogger and give him some love.

"Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in The Hottest Attic In The Universe, he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.

While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:



A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.

Valour-IT Needs YOU!

Don't forget!  If you haven't donated, now is the time! This year's fundraiser ends November 11!

Don't forget to check out the auctions page, too!

And Neither is Britney Spears

Headline of the Day: "Spears' Lawyer To Judge: 'You're Not A Pop Star'"

Seems poor li'l Brit Brit just can't make it to the drug lab on time. You'd think that since she has cars and drivers a plenty this would actually be an EASIER task for her than it would be for the rest of us who need to drive ourselves or rely on a crappy car or **horrors** take the bus to get where we need to go.

Her justification? That she has a Number One album to promote (sorry Brit, but you're actually #2. Ever heard of the Eagles?) and she's too busy to make time for the drug lab in less than 6 hours. SIX.

The judge rebuffed this claim, saying, "I have to get here at 7:30 a.m. to read (court) papers," implying that getting out of bed to go to the lab is not an unreasonable demand from the court.

Britney's lawyer responded, "But you're not a pop star with a number one album."

No, idiot, he's a JUDGE. Well, technically a court commissioner, but still. He's the judge in charge of whether or not she ever gets to see her kids. I suppose that means your client should act accordingly, huh?

I never thought I'd ever say it, but I'm starting to hope those two little boys take after their Dad in the brains department.

Happy Birthday to ME!

31 today. Pictures tomorrow.

Ok, so I was a day late with the pictures.

We had a minor plumbing emergency.... click over to flickr to see more!

Even Darth Vader has to eat sometime...

At the Death Star Canteen.....

DEFINITELY NSFW (language)

I love Eddie Izzard. This is a great bit!

h/t Denny

Who said this?

"For many Democrats, the guiding conviction in foreign policy isn't pacifism or isolationism, it is distrust and disdain of Republicans in general, and President Bush in particular,"

"In this regard, the Democratic foreign policy worldview has become defined by the same reflexive, blind opposition to the President that defined Republicans in the 1990s — even when it means repudiating the very principles and policies that Democrats as a party have stood for, at our best and strongest,"...

Bet you can't guess. Answer below the jump!

h/t Chan at Weekend Pundit

I'm #7 (on the third list!)

How about Professor Tenure-Caused-My-Divorce, or Professor My-Lobotomy-Improved-My-Personality, or my favorite, Professor Your-Life-Means-Less-Than-My-Experiments...

Stolen wholesale from Jon Cogburn (it was just TOO good to excerpt!):

Irritating Assistant Professors- 

1. (from phred)  Professor I'm-a-Fraud-and-Pray-To-Jesus-That-No-One-Will-Figure-It-Out,
2. (from phred)  Professor I'm-Above-This-Place-And-Should-Be-At-Harvard,
3. Professor Rebel-Without-A-Clue,
4. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Only-Teaches-His-G**d***-Dissertation,
5. Professor Promising-Young-Man.

Irritating Full Professors- 

1. (spelling courtesy Mikhail Emilianov) Professor Couldabeena-contenda,
2. (from Knecht Ruprecht) Professor Exploits-Grad-Students-as-Cheap-Labor-in-his-Consulting-Business,
3. (from Mikhail Emilianov and rm) Professor I-Have-Five-Stories/Jokes-So-Get-Used-To-Hearing-Them-All-The-Time,
4. (from John Emerson)  Professor I've-Got-A-Nobel -Prize-So-Go-F***-Yourself,-I-Can-Talk-About-Whatever -I-Want,
5. Professor Midlife-Crises,
6. Professor Old-Yellow-Notes,
7. Professor Screws-Up-Even-Simple-Things-So-As-To-Get-Out-Of-Service-Work
8. Professor Slum-Lord,
9. (from soup biscuit) Professor Tells-You-Everyday-How-Far-He-Is-From-Retirement,
10. (from Knecht Rupert) Professor Twenty-Graduate-Students-Do-All-My-Research,
11. (from redfoxtailshrub) Professor Used-To-Be-Cool-But-Now-Viewed-With-Knowing-Bemused-Looks,
12. Professor Uses-Tenure-To-Pursue-Hobbies-Or-Job-On-The-Side-Full-Time,
13. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Wishes-He-Was-Rich.

Irritating Professors That Could be Assistant or Full-

1. (from rm) Professor Complains-About-Working-Conditions,
2. Professor Drunk-Pants,
3. (from John Emerson) Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep,
4. (from soup biscuit) Professor Laughs-At-His-Own-Jokes,
5. (from rm) Professor My-Jokes-Aren't-Funny-But-They're-All-I-Have,
6. (from cryptic ned) Professor Only-Person-At-Tiny-College-To-Have-Ever-Published-A-Book-In-A-Printing-Of-More-Than-200,
7. (from The Llama Butchers) Professor Seriously-Tardy-With-Grading-Papers-Because-He's-Blogging-on-Useless-Crap-All-The-Time
8. Professor Stared-Into-The-Void-And-The-Void-Stared-Back!-(Though-In-Reality-Void-Finds-Whole-Business-Distasteful),
9. (from Sifu Tweety) Professor Your-Work-Will-Never-Be-As-Important-As-Mine,
10. Professor Watches-Sports,
11. (from Rachel) Professor Wears-Clothes-With-Many-Holes-As-Though-That-Credentials-his-World-of-Ideas-ness.
12. Professor Will-F***-Anything-Young-and-Naive-Enough-To-Admire-Him.

Add your own in the comments, especially you lurking academicians out there!

h/t Los LLamas

Some days you just get it...

Thanks for the laugh, as usual, Chris:

For the love of my life...

I hope your birthday turns out better than Palpatine's did!

I love you so much, Happy Birthday, darling!

Bury my heart at Wounded Knee Disneyland

I don't really want to be cremated, but folks, if I was into it, I would SO love to have my ashes sprinkled at the Happiest Place on Earth. But I'd rather be on Thunder Mountain or in Sleeping Beauty's Castle than Pirates of the Caribbean!

Disneyland officials will likely never know whether the woman who sprinkled some sort of powder onto the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride was trying to send a loved one straight to Davy Jones' locker.

Disney officials shut the ride down for about 45 minutes Friday after they saw the woman sprinkle something into the ride's water. But they said they couldn't determine what it was because it dissolved so quickly.

Blogger and longtime Disneyland watcher Al Lutz said he received several tips indicating it was human ashes.

Disneyland Resorts spokesman Rob Doughty said he couldn't confirm that. He said the rider, who was not arrested, told park employees she had dumped baby powder over the side of a "Pirates" boat.

Lutz, who first reported the event Tuesday on his Web site miceage.com, said more and more people are leaving their loved ones' ashes behind at Disneyland.

"It used to happen every once in a while at the Haunted Mansion, but now it's happening more," he said.

Without written permission, it's a misdemeanor violation of the state Health and Safety Code to scatter human ashes on private property, but enforcement is difficult. Officials say the ashes pose no health threat.

"I can tell you that we do get people from time to time asking for permission to sprinkle ashes. Our policy is when we are asked for permission, we deny the request," Doughty said. "Beyond that, we don't know."

Do you have "The Knack"?

It's not just engineers....

Nice to know I'm not alone on a Bad Day

I've never thought of photocopying my monitor.... but I can so relate to beating the pencil thrower.

h/t Contagion

and as a bonus, because I can't resist a good Milton moment, "I believe you have my stapler.":

I can haz Sweet Potato?

I was nearly weeping reading this. I hope you'll enjoy!

You know, a lot of times I write up random posts and then don't post them. But Best Beloved just called me, and I could not really explain why I was inarticulate about sweet potatoes, so I said I'd go ahead and post this. That way, she can read it at work and know just what kind of day it has been. (Short version, for those who do not feel like reading the whole post: ARRRRRRG. Fucking sweet potatoes.)The longer version, summarized in conversation form:

Dog: I am starving.
Me:Actually, no. You aren't starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.
Dog: STARVING.
Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.
Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.
Me: I am now ignoring you.
Dog: STARVING.
Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.
Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.
[There is a pause, during which the dog exits the room in a pointed manner.]
[From the kitchen, there comes a noise like someone is eating a baseball bat.]

Variations on a theme

So you may have noticed that much of today's posting was an attempt to laugh at a bad situation.

I am recovering from a Complete Fuster Cluck of a weekend.  As I described it in an email to a friend: Cheating, Cleaning, Family Drama, and a Prostitute, none of which are in any way related to each other.

Bear with me as I attempt to screw my head back on straight, because as you may have guessed, it went al 'splodey and needed to be replaced......

Happy Turkey Day, Y'all!

Since we'll be busy with family stuff until Sunday, and I'm pretty sure I won't get a chance to post anything, I thought I'd leave you with this.....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Our New Baby....

Meet Princess #2, a Doxy - Terrier Mix named Guinness:

I can has 24?

See what the writer's strike has wrought, this season on 24....

Alternate Forms of Energy Bumper Stickers

Ever seen that stupid "Coexist" bumper stickers with all the quasi-religious and philosophical symbols replacing the letters? How about this one instead?



Click it to embiggen.

Fabulous, no?

h/t sub2change

Revenge of Son of Stuffy Nose

Ugh. 

Why do these things all come at once, really?