I'm #7 (on the third list!)

How about Professor Tenure-Caused-My-Divorce, or Professor My-Lobotomy-Improved-My-Personality, or my favorite, Professor Your-Life-Means-Less-Than-My-Experiments...

Stolen wholesale from Jon Cogburn (it was just TOO good to excerpt!):

Irritating Assistant Professors- 

1. (from phred)  Professor I'm-a-Fraud-and-Pray-To-Jesus-That-No-One-Will-Figure-It-Out,
2. (from phred)  Professor I'm-Above-This-Place-And-Should-Be-At-Harvard,
3. Professor Rebel-Without-A-Clue,
4. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Only-Teaches-His-G**d***-Dissertation,
5. Professor Promising-Young-Man.

Irritating Full Professors- 

1. (spelling courtesy Mikhail Emilianov) Professor Couldabeena-contenda,
2. (from Knecht Ruprecht) Professor Exploits-Grad-Students-as-Cheap-Labor-in-his-Consulting-Business,
3. (from Mikhail Emilianov and rm) Professor I-Have-Five-Stories/Jokes-So-Get-Used-To-Hearing-Them-All-The-Time,
4. (from John Emerson)  Professor I've-Got-A-Nobel -Prize-So-Go-F***-Yourself,-I-Can-Talk-About-Whatever -I-Want,
5. Professor Midlife-Crises,
6. Professor Old-Yellow-Notes,
7. Professor Screws-Up-Even-Simple-Things-So-As-To-Get-Out-Of-Service-Work
8. Professor Slum-Lord,
9. (from soup biscuit) Professor Tells-You-Everyday-How-Far-He-Is-From-Retirement,
10. (from Knecht Rupert) Professor Twenty-Graduate-Students-Do-All-My-Research,
11. (from redfoxtailshrub) Professor Used-To-Be-Cool-But-Now-Viewed-With-Knowing-Bemused-Looks,
12. Professor Uses-Tenure-To-Pursue-Hobbies-Or-Job-On-The-Side-Full-Time,
13. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Wishes-He-Was-Rich.

Irritating Professors That Could be Assistant or Full-

1. (from rm) Professor Complains-About-Working-Conditions,
2. Professor Drunk-Pants,
3. (from John Emerson) Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep,
4. (from soup biscuit) Professor Laughs-At-His-Own-Jokes,
5. (from rm) Professor My-Jokes-Aren't-Funny-But-They're-All-I-Have,
6. (from cryptic ned) Professor Only-Person-At-Tiny-College-To-Have-Ever-Published-A-Book-In-A-Printing-Of-More-Than-200,
7. (from The Llama Butchers) Professor Seriously-Tardy-With-Grading-Papers-Because-He's-Blogging-on-Useless-Crap-All-The-Time
8. Professor Stared-Into-The-Void-And-The-Void-Stared-Back!-(Though-In-Reality-Void-Finds-Whole-Business-Distasteful),
9. (from Sifu Tweety) Professor Your-Work-Will-Never-Be-As-Important-As-Mine,
10. Professor Watches-Sports,
11. (from Rachel) Professor Wears-Clothes-With-Many-Holes-As-Though-That-Credentials-his-World-of-Ideas-ness.
12. Professor Will-F***-Anything-Young-and-Naive-Enough-To-Admire-Him.

Add your own in the comments, especially you lurking academicians out there!

h/t Los LLamas