November 13, 2007

I'm #7 (on the third list!)

How about Professor Tenure-Caused-My-Divorce, or Professor My-Lobotomy-Improved-My-Personality, or my favorite, Professor Your-Life-Means-Less-Than-My-Experiments...

Stolen wholesale from Jon Cogburn (it was just TOO good to excerpt!):

Irritating Assistant Professors

  1. (from phred)  Professor I'm-a-Fraud-and-Pray-To-Jesus-That-No-One-Will-Figure-It-Out,
  2. (from phred)  Professor I'm-Above-This-Place-And-Should-Be-At-Harvard,
  3. Professor Rebel-Without-A-Clue,
  4. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Only-Teaches-His-G**d***-Dissertation,
  5. Professor Promising-Young-Man.

Irritating Full Professors

  1. (spelling courtesy Mikhail Emilianov) Professor Couldabeena-contenda,
  2. (from Knecht Ruprecht) Professor Exploits-Grad-Students-as-Cheap-Labor-in-his-Consulting-Business,
  3. (from Mikhail Emilianov and rm) Professor I-Have-Five-Stories/Jokes-So-Get-Used-To-Hearing-Them-All-The-Time,
  4. (from John Emerson)  Professor I've-Got-A-Nobel -Prize-So-Go-F***-Yourself,-I-Can-Talk-About-Whatever -I-Want,
  5. Professor Midlife-Crises,
  6. Professor Old-Yellow-Notes,
  7. Professor Screws-Up-Even-Simple-Things-So-As-To-Get-Out-Of-Service-Work
  8. Professor Slum-Lord,
  9. (from soup biscuit) Professor Tells-You-Everyday-How-Far-He-Is-From-Retirement,
  10. (from Knecht Rupert) Professor Twenty-Graduate-Students-Do-All-My-Research,
  11. (from redfoxtailshrub) Professor Used-To-Be-Cool-But-Now-Viewed-With-Knowing-Bemused-Looks,
  12. Professor Uses-Tenure-To-Pursue-Hobbies-Or-Job-On-The-Side-Full-Time,
  13. (from Mark Silcox) Professor Wishes-He-Was-Rich.

Irritating Professors That Could be Assistant or Full-

  1. (from rm) Professor Complains-About-Working-Conditions,
  2. Professor Drunk-Pants,
  3. (from John Emerson) Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep,
  4. (from soup biscuit) Professor Laughs-At-His-Own-Jokes,
  5. (from rm) Professor My-Jokes-Aren't-Funny-But-They're-All-I-Have,
  6. (from cryptic ned) Professor Only-Person-At-Tiny-College-To-Have-Ever-Published-A-Book-In-A-Printing-Of-More-Than-200,
  7. (from The Llama Butchers) Professor Seriously-Tardy-With-Grading-Papers-Because-He's-Blogging-on-Useless-Crap-All-The-Time
  8. Professor Stared-Into-The-Void-And-The-Void-Stared-Back!-(Though-In-Reality-Void-Finds-Whole-Business-Distasteful),
  9. (from Sifu Tweety) Professor Your-Work-Will-Never-Be-As-Important-As-Mine,
  10. Professor Watches-Sports,
  11. (from Rachel) Professor Wears-Clothes-With-Many-Holes-As-Though-That-Credentials-his-World-of-Ideas-ness.
  12. Professor Will-F***-Anything-Young-and-Naive-Enough-To-Admire-Him.

Posted by caltechgirl at November 13, 2007 11:26 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Professor Everyone-is-out-to-get-me

Professor I'm-THIS-close-to-retirement-so-I'm-not-even-going-to-try-anymore

Professor Who-cares-what-the-subject-is, let's-discuss-my-politics

Professor I-want-all-the-students-to-like-me, so-I'm-going-to-give-easy-tests

Professor Goes-to-meetings-and-has-one-single-agenda-that-has-to-be-brought-up-at-every-meeting, no-matter-how-unrelated-to-the-topic-at-hand

Professor I-have-family-drama

Posted by: ricki at November 14, 2007 06:05 AM

I'm not faculty, I'm staff at a state university, but I guest lecture on "computer stuff" and I think I should qualify as "Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep." Because I could, and sometimes do.

And my personal favorite is Professor I-Have-A-PhD-so-I-shouldn't-have-to-learn-anything-new-ever-again-What-do-you-mean,-you-don't-support-WordStar-4.0-and-Windows-3.1?

Posted by: Jenna at November 14, 2007 08:33 AM

Professor I'm-a-middle-aged-balding-male-and-I-wear-an-earring-to- seem-cool-but-mainly-I'm-a-liberal-asshole.

Posted by: dogette at November 14, 2007 04:20 PM

Professor I-can't-teach-but-I'm-cheap-labor-because-I'm-tri-lingual-and-already-employed-by-the-university-as-a-researcher
Professor smells-like-weed
Professor should-not-teach-in-a-classroom-with-windows-lest-he-sees-a-short-skirt
Professor better-hope-my-team-is-winning-when-I-grade-your-tests

Posted by: Archerychic at November 16, 2007 02:44 PM