March 15, 2006

It's March Madness Babeeeee

The Big Dance started last night, and rather than whine about the bracket (MSU v UNC in the second round???), here are a couple of basketball funnies:

First (paraphrased from the Paladin):

A family of dook basketball supporters headed out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy’s birthday. While in the sports shop the son picks up a UNC jersey and says to his older sister, “I’ve decided to become a Tar Heel fan and I would like this UNC jersey for my birthday.”
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him in the head and says, “Go talk to mother.”
Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother. “Mom?”
“Yes son?”
“I’ve decided I’m going to be a UNC fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday”.
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, “Go talk to your father!”
Off he goes with the UNC jersey in hand and finds his father. “Dad?”
“Yes son?”
“I’ve decided I’m going to be a 'Heels fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday.”
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, “No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!”
About half an hour later they’re all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says, “Son, I hope you’ve learned something today?”
The son says, “Yes, Dad, I have.”
“Good son, what is it?”
The son replies, “I’ve only been a Carolina fan for an hour and I already hate you dook bastards.”

And second, an oldie but a goodie:

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, see what I've made..."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a hard place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be lovely but poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot." God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a place. "What's that?"

"Ah," said God. "Chapel Hill, the most glorious place on Earth. I made it from a little corner of Heaven. There are beautiful women and an exquisite campus that is called UNC. The people from Chapel Hill are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them a great and wondrous basketball team swathed in cloth made from the Sky itself. The team will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"

God replied, "Fear not, Michael. Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them in Durham."

This should be plenty of proof for the Llamas

Posted by caltechgirl at March 15, 2006 12:22 PM | TrackBack

Ah yes... let the Duke bashing commence!

Posted by: Paladin at March 15, 2006 01:54 PM

LOL! I think. :-)

—Paul, Duke '91

Posted by: Paul Burgess at March 16, 2006 06:37 AM

Paul, you are forgiven, by me, as you are a man of the cloth and can not really help it.

Posted by: Darling Husband at March 16, 2006 01:06 PM