OMG, I emailed your news story link to my brother, and he responded with this parody, which I herewith submit for your perusal:

"A Hyannis police spokesman said that Senator Kennedy wandered into the precinct station dazed and confused hours after a group of fishermen stranded on a breakwater during storm conditions had been rescued by firefighters."

"The senator conveyed that he had tried to help the group of men earlier in the day, but had barely escaped with his own life and had assumed that the fishermen had in turn rescued themselves," said Lt. Joseph Moscone.

"He had a hard time remembering his whereabouts during the intervening time. Senator Kennedy believes that the shock of the situation may have left him in a state of amnesia." Some witnesses report seeing the senator driving towards his estate shortly after the time he reported that he had been near the fishermen. Several sources, who expressed wishes to remain anonymous, claimed that they had witnessed Kennedy drinking heavily at a private club near Hyannisport the evening before. Senator Kennedy could not be reached for comment.

WWMJD!

God, that's hilarious!

This just in:
Senator Edward Kennedy (D Mass.) had a narrow escape today and had to be rescued from the surf by Hyannis firefighters. He was being pursued by a ravenous school of unweaned baby dolphins, apparently attracted by his unusual physique.