California Election Cheat Sheet

For Tuesday's statewide election:

First, a general rule of thumb: "desperate" career politicians get no votes from me (see below)

Governor-- Ah-nold.  I don't like him that much, but Angelides is a tool.  A rusty, John Kerry-like tool who has already declared he will raise my taxes.

Lt. Gov -- Tom McClintock.  Again, not entirely my cup of tea, but Garamendi is also a tool and is covered under the general rule of thumb above.

Sec. State -- Bruce McPherson.  Who is he, you ask?  Well he's the incumbent who stepped in and cleaned up the huge freaking mess Kevin Shelley left behind, and without a lot of press.  Go Bruce.

Attorney General -- This is a toughie.  Poochigian is a class A DICKHEAD.  A career politician that the rule of thumb applies to.  But then again, so is Jerry Brown.  And Brown was responsible for Rose Bird.  Yeah, that Rose Bird.  So I guess Poochigian it is.  I wish I could just vote NO.

Insurance Commissioner-- Steve Poizner. The rule of thumb above was WRITTEN for Cruz Bustamonte.  I mean, do you really want someone SO DESPERATE TO STAY IN OFFICE that they're willing to go from Lt. Gov to freaking INSURANCE COMMISSIONER????  Not to mention he couldn't come up with a better campaign slogan than "I lost weight, I can keep my promises."

Controller-- Tony Strickland.  He sued Gray Davis for the secret dealings that led to the rolling blackouts.  He knows corruption when he sees it.

Treasurer-- Claude Parrish.  Bill Lockyer is currently Attorney General, so he falls into the same category as our friends Cruz Bustamonte and John Garamendi:  Desperate Housewives Career Politicians who get no votes from me.

US Senate-- Dianne Feinstein.  I dislike her, I really do, but I don't think Dick Mountjoy is really the best candidate.  What I want to know is why the Republican party in this state always puts the more electable candidates up against Feinstein.  She's the conservative one.  A Republican has a hell of a lot better shot against crazy ass Barbara Boxer. If Mountjoy had a chance of winning, I'd vote for him just to switch the seat over to the Red side, but that ain't gonna happen, so I'll smile and vote for Dianne and thank God that she's not Barbara Boxer, part II.

State Ballot Measures:
1A-1E: YES.  I realize that bond measures aren't always the best way to go about funding these projects, but it increases the revenue stream in the short term to get a number of BADLY needed projects going, including freeway improvements and education programs.  For example, 1D sets aside funds to build new school buildings from elementary through college, pays for new science labs and equipment, and restores CA's badly needed vocational education programs, which have all but disappeared in the last decade.
83-- YES.  Jessica's Law: Increased restrictions and monitoring for sex offenders
84-- NO  Do we need this right now?
85-- YES Parental Notification is NOT CONSENT
86-- HELL F*CK NO.  This is a revenue direction scheme masquerading as a cigarette tax.  When several professional medical associations line up AGAINST an anti-smoking measure, it probably sucks.  This one sure does.
87-- HELL F*CK NO AGAIN.  This is that alternative energy thing Bill Clinton is shilling for.  Frankly, it will only end up raising our gas prices and taxes.  It will bankrupt the CA economy by making it too expensive to do business here.
88-- NO WAY JOSE -- Increases property taxes in attempt to circumvent Prop 13.  If it wasn't for Prop 13, my parents wouldn't be able to afford to own their home.  Would you??
89-- NO.  More regulations won't clean up corrupt politicians.  Period. Perhaps poison...
90-- YES.  This is CA's Kelo response.  Keep your hands off my body AND my property.

Or you can just do your duty as a Californian and vote NO on everything, since you didn't really even pay attention to which measure was which in the first place.....