October 06, 2006

Friday Funny!

Interpreting A Woman's Words (by Neal Boortz)

FINE
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm be fore the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

"WHATEVER"
...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

No seriously.  It's all true.  So why am I telling YOU?
h/t Jenna

Posted by caltechgirl at October 6, 2006 11:43 AM | TrackBack
Comments

"Fine!" is one of my favorites.

I admit it.

Posted by: Helen at October 7, 2006 01:35 AM

I was one of the lucky men who learned these code words many years ago..actually what they all mean is that it is okay to go fishin' and 'we'll talk about it' when I get back if you are still here.

Posted by: GUYK at October 7, 2006 06:35 AM

The one that scares me as a guy is:

"Do whatever you want/think is best"

I've yet to have a woman say that to me and pick the "right" answer.

Posted by: KG at October 7, 2006 02:51 PM

Gee, during my last hospital stay Jane used every one of these words on me. Now I know what she was talking about… I always knew women spoke in a foreign language.

Posted by: Edd at October 8, 2006 09:57 AM