June 23, 2006

Mwahahahahahaha

That's hockey for ya':

RALEIGH, NC-- Only hours after the Carolina Hurricanes won the NHL Championship Monday night in a hard-fought Game 7 against the Edmonton Oilers, North Carolina Gov. Michael Easley mobilized the National Guard to contain over two dozen members of what he described as "some sort of depraved, violent, heretofore unheard-of gang calling themselves the Hurricanes."

"These strange men came out of nowhere with absolutely no warning," Easley said of the Stanley Cup-winning Hurricanes, who emptied garbage cans, overturned vehicles and set them aflame, looted local businesses, and frightened hundreds of citizens out of their sleep. "Nobody had ever heard of them before. No one knows what they want. And nobody knows why they were acting so crazy."

Police chief Jane Perlov is reporting that the NHL club, which was known as the Hartford Whalers until moving to North Carolina in 1997 and has struggled to attract much local attention, "somehow gained access to Raleigh's RBC Center earlier Monday, engaged in some sort of ritualistic violence involving sticks and nets, and then proceeded to drink heavily before heading to their cars."

I love it when The Onion gets the accessory facts more correct than the REAL local paper.....

Posted by caltechgirl at June 23, 2006 05:25 PM | TrackBack
Comments

I have to be honest-I love that the Canes won, despite my long-standing devotion to the Stars. They deserve it.

Posted by: Helen at June 27, 2006 07:41 AM