February 22, 2006
A Letter to my furry friends...
My Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there, and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge, and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is NOT mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's bottoms. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Would Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter...who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called,
never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes and don't need a gazillion dollars for college!
Love,
Mom
h/t CaltechMom
May 05, 2006
Happy Birthday, baby girl!
Today, my precious pooch, known here as The Princess™, turns 7. She is the bane of my existence and the light of my life, not to mention the hot water bottle on my feet.
Here's to at least 7 more years of tennis ball chasing, long walks with Daddy, and conspicuous amounts of French Fries!
ok, i guess....
| You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls |
 You've struck a good balance between girly and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl. |
from equally girly Jen
June 06, 2006
The Curse of the Doxies
Or why bathing the dogs is more trouble than it's worth. 4 little dogs (one blind) vs one woman and a bottle of wine....
Complete with funny illustrations!
October 01, 2006
Feeling better, thanks
A good night's sleep and adding this to the regimen did the trick. It's funny how fast the right medicine can make you feel better!
Among today's activities, we did some laundry, including changing the sheets on our bed. Somedays, I really wonder why we bother:
October 31, 2006
December 21, 2006
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Have you stopped by to check out the newest member of the Bad Example Bunch? It's Bitterroot, also known as =HC=, husband of my blog sis Mrs_Who.
And he's got a great story to tell about their Golden Retriever.....
"...Mothers can tell what every different nuance in a baby's cry means. I've never understood that. But I can understand my dog.Read the rest, and find out WHY she went to DefCon 2I can tell the difference between a cat in the parkbark, a strange dogs are in my yard! bark, and even a neighbor girl and her boyfriend are talking/making-out in her driveway bark. There's also the strangers walking past the yard bark, and of course the usual bored reply to the other barking dog down the street bark.
But at about 2:30 this morning, she was barking something different. It definitely wasn't a bored or cat bark - it was more insistent. She almost sounded scared. As I listened, her barking intensified - whatever it was was really unnerving her - she was already up to DefCon 2. I got up and went to the family room at the other end of the house and peered out the windows. I saw nothing. By this time, Dog is going positively ape-shit out there. Something or someone is in the yard, and it's definitely a stranger bark! I moved as quickly as I dared through the darkened house to secure my gun and flashlight. (I know, I know) They should have been in my hands before I went to investigate.) Damn! Mrs. Who or the kids - okay, maybe even *I* left the MagLite somewhere other than where it was supposed to be. Too late, I can't turn-on lights to search for it. There's no time, and I'll only handicap my own night-adjusted eyes - blinding myself and possibly even making a silhouette of myself!...."
April 03, 2007
Funny, I thought they'd call it "Doga"
Yoga is a fun, relaxing practice. Sure, it can be challenging, but I find that even a few simple stretches and poses are very good for helping me to relax and focus, especially in the midst of a very stressful task or a rapidly approaching deadline.
One thing that usually DOESN'T help, however, is my beloved Princess. She is drawn like a magnet to mommy on the floor, assuming of course, that the only reason I would be there is to play with her. Frankly, she's WAY more of a hinderance than anything, especially if I am trying to meditate.
So I was highly amused when I found this article today:
In Bryan's class, the humans do traditional yoga poses -- yes, including "downward facing dog" -- while staying in contact physically with their pets.Evidently in this class, both man and beast get the benefits of the practice, as the poses are modified to fit the ability of the human "partner" and the size of the dog "partner", which ranges from a toy Poodle to a Visla.Part of the class includes gentle stretching and dog massage, another specialty of Bryan's, but most of the time the humans gently use the dogs like yoga props.
In downward facing dog, for example, the humans rest their heads on their companions, who are relaxing -- napping? -- on the mat.
"Don't be too ambitious," she said. "Honor where your dog is and remember that dogs respond to our energy."
Actually, it sounds like fun. And it's a great fundraiser for the humane society.
May 06, 2007
The Princess is getting a puppy sister! Scratch That
One of the CaltechMom's friend's dogs recently had puppies, and as we've been thinking long and hard about getting a little sibling for the Princess, she offered us one, and we accepted!
The new puppy is a little black standard smooth-coated Dachshund, and CaltechMom will pick her up tomorrow.
The only problem is that we won't get to meet her until after Mom has had her for a couple of weeks. And she needs a name before then!.
This is where you all come in. We're having a hard time giving Puppy-girl a name!
We'd prefer a girly name, two syllables, since that's easiest for the dog to learn, and something suitable to a little black doxie.
Also, it can't rhyme with "Molly" or "Dolly" because the Princess' name already does.
Have at it folks. There may be a prize for the person suggesting the eventual name!
No Dog. She called my mom tonight and said her brother took my dog for himself. The rotten bastard.
