I am a spoiler whore, so I have been scouring the interwebnets for DAYS looking for whatever I can find. Not to spoil others with, just because I am IMPATIENT. You should have seen me before Ep I of Star Wars.

Highlight to read the spoiler stuff, I don't want people spoiled inadvertantly!

The review seems to confirm the epilogue .jpgs posted all over the web, and if it's true, that means there WON'T be a dent in my wall come Saturday afternoon, because BY GOD if Ron or Hermione dies, I will hurl the book in whatever direction happens to be the way I am facing.

Also, FWIW, I've read through about 1/3 of the "carpet" book (700+ jpgs purported to be the real deal. No, I won't give you the link, it's been taken down since I downloaded it anyway) and if it's not the real deal, whoever wrote it should get a contract. Seriously.

If it turns out to be a fake, and Ron or Hermione DOES bite it, I'm going to print out the .jpgs anyway, and read that version instead. FOR EVER.

No shit.

Anyway, with regard to the "carpet" book leak, so called because of the nasty carpet behind the book, and to distinguish it from another DIFFERENT purported leak that first appeared on flikr, wow. There's character development, and plot twists and unexpected deaths and all kinds of moments where you feel yourself sucked in, like Harry in the Pensieve. If it isn't real, someone did a hell of a job faking it, and I haven't even read the middle of it yet.

Yes, I read the beginning and then skipped to the end. I wanted to know who lived and who died. Sue me.

The living (in this version):
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, McGonagall, Hagrid, Malfoys (all 3), Mr & Mrs Weasley, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, George (minus an ear), Ginny, Pigwidgeon, and others.

Notable deaths (in this version):
Hedwig, Moody, Snape, Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Nagini, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Dobby (I have heard, I haven't read that part yet.

And Hermione turns out to be right: being kind to house elves IS important. Kreacher turns out to be very important.

It was the Dumbledore subplot that convinced me about the "carpet" book's validity. No fake would have that kind of unexpected doubt or develop a dead character that fully.

The Snape bits were no surprise on the other hand, I pegged it YEARS AGO that Snape was a good guy because he loved Lily.

I was concerned about the Hary/Ginny romance but it makes more sense after reading the book, and well, I was just wondering how many pages it would take for Ron to wake up and kiss Hermione.

Did anyone else catch the Star Wars moment at Gringotts? These are not the wizards you're looking for..... Although the Force is a lot smoother than a Confundus charm. Gringotts was actually my LEAST favorite part, and I wifh H/R/H had done more, rather than just sitting in a tent waiting for something to happen.

Oh, and YAY NEVILLE!!!!!!! I always knew he'd prove himself the truest of the Gryffindors!

1. What the heck is Neville's Patronus? I'd love it to be an animated mushroom or some such, reflecting his love of herbology. What about Hagrid's? I'd guess it would be a dragon.

2. What happened to Umbridge? Did she die? Was she punished? Was she a Death Eater in the end?

3. Who in hell would ACTUALLY marry Draco Malfoy? I mean really.

4. What's the deal with Patronuses anyway? I mean the animal represents someone who loves us or who we love, right? Or some character quality we embody? Dumbledore's was a phoenix: Fawkes; Harry's was a stag: his dad; Snape's was a doe: Lily (and evidently hers was a doe because she loved James); Arthur's is a weasel, etc. So why is Ron's a terrier, and Hermione's an otter. Odd choice, that. Anyone got any ideas?

5. Does anyone else feel like there was a lot cut out? For example the Dursley part? or maybe scenes at Hogwarts? If so, BAD EDITOR. BAD. We'd have bought it even if it was the same size as frigging War and Peace!

6. Who else loved the references to other literary worlds? The speaking patronuses (The Golden Compass series), the horcrux worn around HRH's necks making them grumpy and then trying to kill Harry in the pond (LOTR), the scene with the Probity Probes at Gringotts (Star Wars, of course).... Any others I missed?

7. This one's more of a statement, but I actually get the whole deal with Kreacher. He didn't just turn around 180 degrees overnight. HRH won him over because they asked him to continue to be loyal to Regulus' last task for him. And fighting Voldy was, in fact, Regulus' last mission for him, in a way. So he could continue to serve his old master by serving Harry, which is what brought him great joy and allowed him to respect HRH.

Perhaps more later in the comments....

Neville rocks so wicked hard I have to go beyond grade O [Outstanding, as in OWL/ NEWT grades]. Fact: cutting off Nagini’s head with the sword of Godric Gryffindor is AWESOME. I waved a lit Zippo over my head while twelve ninjas started wailing on guitars. Bonus points – this means that tool Griphook lost the sword AGAIN.

GRYFFINDOR:
[x] You’ve never done drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends.
[ ] You get along with everyone.
[x] You love football.
[x] You love baseball.
[ ] You’re into writing and art
[x] One of your favourite music genres is rock.
[x] You believe in “innocent until proven guilty” theory.
[ ] One of your favourite colors is red or gold.
[x] Good grades at school.
[x] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college.
TOTAL: 9

HUFFLEPUFF:
[ ]You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[ ] Politics suck.
[ ] You love to swim
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[x] You’re an optimist.
[x] You’re very emotional.
[ ] You believe in going steady at a young age.
[ ] You haven’t made fun of anyone this month.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
TOTAL: 4

RAVENCLAW:
[ ] You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[ ] Sports suck.
[x] Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ] Indie is one of your favourite genre of music.
[x] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[ ] Blue is one of your favourite colours.
[x] Knowledge is the key to power
[x] Sarcasm is the best kind of humour
[x] People should know what they’re talking about before they talk.
TOTAL: 8

SLYTHERIN:
[x]There’s at least one person you hate.
[x] Basketball is a good sport.
[x] Football is amazing.
[ ] Black is a cool color.
[x] You’ve lied about something serious
[x] You’re a very deep person
[ ] You are not very loyal.
[x] You like heavy metal.
[x] You make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You’re scared to grow up.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[ ] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent.
Total: 8

Evidently I'm not a Hufflepuff, and I should be a Gryffindor, but Ravenclaw or Slytherin would be fine, too.